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Reducing Resentment in Relationships Through Wholehearted Boundaries
But what I'm really talking about is more of resentment towards someone in your life that is asking things of you that you're really not wholeheartedly able to give. And so you might find yourself smiling on the outside saying yes, but it's really a misalignment between your external behavior and reactions and your internal world. So really this comes down to how do we reduce resentment in our relationships so that our relationships are better and healthier and happier and all of those things?…
Becoming a Good Friend to Yourself: Learning to Nurture and encourage yourself as you would a friend
The other area that being a good friend to yourself really applies is the idea of our thoughts. And again, many times we are more naturally encouraging towards a friend when they're going through a hard time in our words towards them than we are to ourselves.
So moving towards a more self compassionate narrative is a huge way to be a greater friend to yourself. And examples of that would be like “hey, it's okay,”or “you made a mistake, let's acknowledge it.” But your life is not over, all is not doomed, you can try again, you can show up, it's a new day…it's really just softening the narrative from anything that's so harsh, condemning or accusatory to an inner narrative that is more motivating, more encouraging.
What Are the Patterns? Getting Honest about RElationship patterns may position you for healthy change
Just because something's been a pattern doesn't mean it has to continue. There is hope to break patterns—to create new dynamics…It's not the conflict itself that's the problem. It's really examining the patterns. Do we have healthy dynamics around communication? Do we have a posture of voicing in an assertive way what we're feeling and what we need and also listening to the person we're in relationship with, what's going on with them, what do they need? What do you need together for it to be a healthier dynamic?
Assertive Communication
…In that realm, there is a dynamic of feeling like you have some agency over your own life. Whether that's in the workplace, whether that's in a marriage or dating type relationship, whether that's in a friendship, whether that's in your family of being a sibling or a daughter or a son or a parent, or all of the above, that you get to speak into your life. Meaning when something is not okay with you, you can say that. And ideally you have people in your life who will hear your voice and respect it too…