And it's a very natural phenomenon and very normal for someone to conclude if I just avoid what makes me anxious, then I will be safe, then I will be okay, then I will be less triggered. And while those things might be true in the short run, often over time, it's not a sustainable long term coping strategy. Because many times what we are avoiding are actually the things that help us grow and help us develop competence and help us develop a sense that we can navigate and be okay in and through hard things, that we can be triggered and be okay.

Some of us are more likely to admit that we have limits and are fairly in tune with naming those limits, and others of us are not and continue to hold up perhaps an unrealistic standard of what we feel like we should be or should be accomplishing or our capacity in a way that doesn't match our reality. And that can be a continual source of frustration, it can be a source of disappointment, and it can also really move into being more of a source of shame if the inner critic is so harsh.

So that when you have a narrative that's really causing problems because it's so rigid or fixed, it's so all or nothing that you can challenge it. I see this all the time with things like related to exercise or eating to soften that narrative of just because someone didn't exercise on one day doesn't mean they have to throw in the towel or that they're lazy.Actually it could have been what they needed, that they were sick or exhausted or had other priorities. And so we can make space for a softer narrative and that they can the next day, go for a walk again and keep living in the way that they value…

Am I in a season of growth? Am I in a season of adjustment? Am I in a season of grief? Am I in a season of discipline, perhaps, or just transition…? Am I in a season of loneliness where I really long for more connections? Am I in a season of abundance, where things are going really well and there's just a lot to enjoy, but it's a fast pace? So in this, I just want to encourage you to, similarly to the literal seasons, to name the season you're in in a larger sense. What is this time like for you? And when you can name what it's like, you're validating your internal world and your experience…

…If the message that is looping in your head is a message of anxiety telling you to avoid something that's actually healthy for you, good for you, that's something that you want in your life, but you're avoiding it because that anxiety message is so strong, then consider really writing it down, typing it out, externalizing it, and connecting it with anxiety's voice and see if that creates some distance for you. Sometimes just that shift alone is so significant that it can help you really begin to work towards that claiming of a more true narrative.

I hope that it's encouraging for anyone listening who has tried counseling before and it wasn't a great experience. It may be that the relationship wasn't what it needed to be. And does that mean you have to write off counseling altogether? Or is it possible that there could be a better connection with a different counselor?

And so my hope would be today that if you are someone who can very much relate to, yes, I have that scarcity mindset, then take notice. Where does it show up in your life? Is it about your body? Is it about your finances? Is it about your home, your profession, your parenting, your personality? And by noticing it and being cognizant that you naturally maybe go to that thought narrative, then you're in a position to intentionally consider what is it about these pictures or this other person's story that I'm hearing that's maybe a longing for me, and I can name that and I can notice it.

But anytime someone moves to a new town or goes through any kind of major life change, some of the dynamics that can occur are that there can be a lot of loneliness. And again, even in the best of changes, it can feel so jolting that it's like, Who are my people? Am I alone? Am I connected? How do I feel?