Just because something's been a pattern doesn't mean it has to continue. There is hope to break patterns—to create new dynamics…It's not the conflict itself that's the problem. It's really examining the patterns. Do we have healthy dynamics around communication? Do we have a posture of voicing in an assertive way what we're feeling and what we need and also listening to the person we're in relationship with, what's going on with them, what do they need? What do you need together for it to be a healthier dynamic?

So that when you have a narrative that's really causing problems because it's so rigid or fixed, it's so all or nothing that you can challenge it. I see this all the time with things like related to exercise or eating to soften that narrative of just because someone didn't exercise on one day doesn't mean they have to throw in the towel or that they're lazy.Actually it could have been what they needed, that they were sick or exhausted or had other priorities. And so we can make space for a softer narrative and that they can the next day, go for a walk again and keep living in the way that they value…