And I just want to encourage you, if you are someone who is struggling with the concept of boundaries, to press into those principles we just talked about— that they're good, that they're healthy, that boundaries are not mean, that they can be conveyed with kindness and respect, and that they lead to wholehearted yeses and less resentment, which ultimately helps your relationships with people, because you're not simmering with resentment on the inside, because your commitments match and align with what you're needing on the inside.

Just because something's been a pattern doesn't mean it has to continue. There is hope to break patterns—to create new dynamics…It's not the conflict itself that's the problem. It's really examining the patterns. Do we have healthy dynamics around communication? Do we have a posture of voicing in an assertive way what we're feeling and what we need and also listening to the person we're in relationship with, what's going on with them, what do they need? What do you need together for it to be a healthier dynamic?

...If you are listening today and you are in a marriage or a really close relationship with someone and that person's well being matters to you or is a top priority for you, that it is quite a gift to give that person to stop and pause and ask them what do they need?