And it's a very natural phenomenon and very normal for someone to conclude if I just avoid what makes me anxious, then I will be safe, then I will be okay, then I will be less triggered. And while those things might be true in the short run, often over time, it's not a sustainable long term coping strategy. Because many times what we are avoiding are actually the things that help us grow and help us develop competence and help us develop a sense that we can navigate and be okay in and through hard things, that we can be triggered and be okay.

So that when you have a narrative that's really causing problems because it's so rigid or fixed, it's so all or nothing that you can challenge it. I see this all the time with things like related to exercise or eating to soften that narrative of just because someone didn't exercise on one day doesn't mean they have to throw in the towel or that they're lazy.Actually it could have been what they needed, that they were sick or exhausted or had other priorities. And so we can make space for a softer narrative and that they can the next day, go for a walk again and keep living in the way that they value…

…In that realm, there is a dynamic of feeling like you have some agency over your own life. Whether that's in the workplace, whether that's in a marriage or dating type relationship, whether that's in a friendship, whether that's in your family of being a sibling or a daughter or a son or a parent, or all of the above, that you get to speak into your life. Meaning when something is not okay with you, you can say that. And ideally you have people in your life who will hear your voice and respect it too…

…If the message that is looping in your head is a message of anxiety telling you to avoid something that's actually healthy for you, good for you, that's something that you want in your life, but you're avoiding it because that anxiety message is so strong, then consider really writing it down, typing it out, externalizing it, and connecting it with anxiety's voice and see if that creates some distance for you. Sometimes just that shift alone is so significant that it can help you really begin to work towards that claiming of a more true narrative.