And I just want to encourage you, if you are someone who is struggling with the concept of boundaries, to press into those principles we just talked about— that they're good, that they're healthy, that boundaries are not mean, that they can be conveyed with kindness and respect, and that they lead to wholehearted yeses and less resentment, which ultimately helps your relationships with people, because you're not simmering with resentment on the inside, because your commitments match and align with what you're needing on the inside.

And once you can identify a core belief or two that might be driving a lot of your choices and your behavior, then when you're ready, you can begin to challenge those beliefs and work towards a reframe. So, for example, if my belief is that I need to please people at all times, I can work towards a more realistic understanding of relationships-- that it's not my job to please people at all times, but I can still value peacemaking and pleasing as something I generally bring to the table.